{"id":2430551,"date":"2017-11-07T07:30:35","date_gmt":"2017-11-07T00:30:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kill2.mmmaq.com/_res_0\/?p=2430551"},"modified":"2021-04-06T21:45:56","modified_gmt":"2021-04-06T14:45:56","slug":"talking-points-goc-nhin-day-con-tuoi-day-thi-de-hay-kho","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kill2.mmmaq.com/_res_0\/talking-points-goc-nhin-day-con-tuoi-day-thi-de-hay-kho\/","title":{"rendered":"D\u1ea1y con tu\u1ed5i d\u1eady th\u00ec, d\u1ec5 hay kh\u00f3?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Nhi\u1ec1u l\u00fac ch\u1ecb th\u1eadt s\u1ef1 c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y b\u1ea5t l\u1ef1c trong vi\u1ec7c d\u1ea1y con tu\u1ed5i d\u1eady th\u00ec<\/strong>. Con b\u00e9 nh\u00e0 ch\u1ecb c\u00e0ng l\u1edbn c\u00e0ng kh\u00f3 b\u1ea3o. H\u1ec5 ch\u1ecb b\u1ea3o th\u1ebf n\u00e0y th\u00ec n\u00f3 ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0m ng\u01b0\u1ee3c l\u1ea1i m\u1edbi v\u1eeba l\u00f2ng. \u0110\u00e3 th\u1ebf c\u00f2n c\u00e3i tay \u0111\u00f4i v\u1edbi ba m\u1eb9. Ch\u1ecb n\u1ea3n qu\u00e1, con v\u1edbi ch\u1ea3 c\u00e1i!\u201d. D\u1ea1o n\u00e0y, c\u1ee9 g\u1eb7p t\u00f4i l\u00e0 ch\u1ecb t\u00f4i l\u1ea1i than th\u1edf v\u1ec1 c\u00f4 con g\u00e1i \u0111ang tu\u1ed5i d\u1eady th\u00ec c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh.<\/span><\/p>\n

T\u00f4i th\u00ec kh\u00f4ng l\u1ea1 c\u00f4 con g\u00e1i xinh x\u1eafn, ngoan ngo\u00e3n v\u00e0 h\u1ecdc gi\u1ecfi c\u1ee7a ch\u1ecb. C\u00f3 \u0111i\u1ec1u hai v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng ch\u1ecb \u0111\u1ec1u l\u00e0 s\u1ebfp l\u1edbn c\u1ee7a c\u00f4ng ty n\u00ean \u00edt c\u00f3 th\u1eddi gian d\u00e0nh cho con c\u00e1i. Vi\u1ec7c \u0111\u01b0a \u0111\u00f3n \u0111i h\u1ecdc \u0111\u00e3 c\u00f3 t\u00e0i x\u1ebf ri\u00eang lo, c\u00f2n \u0103n u\u1ed1ng th\u00ec nh\u00e0 \u0111\u00e3 c\u00f3 ng\u01b0\u1eddi gi\u00fap vi\u1ec7c. \u1ede tu\u1ed5i 14, c\u00f4 b\u00e9 \u0111\u00e3 b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u bi\u1ebft quan t\u00e2m t\u1edbi s\u1eafc \u0111\u1eb9p v\u00e0 c\u0169ng tr\u1edf n\u00ean \u01b0\u01a1ng b\u01b0\u1edbng h\u01a1n. C\u00f3 l\u1ea7n ch\u1ecb th\u1ea5y con \u0111\u1ee9ng tr\u01b0\u1edbc g\u01b0\u01a1ng h\u00e0ng gi\u1edd \u0111\u1ec3 t\u1ea1o d\u00e1ng nh\u01b0 c\u00e1c c\u00f4 ng\u01b0\u1eddi m\u1eabu trong c\u00e1c t\u1ea1p ch\u00ed th\u1eddi trang. Ti\u1ec1n ch\u1ecb cho \u0111i h\u1ecdc m\u1ed7i ng\u00e0y, c\u00f4 b\u00e9 d\u00e0nh \u0111\u1ec3 s\u1eafm qu\u1ea7n \u00e1o v\u00e0 \u0111\u1ed3 trang \u0111i\u1ec3m. <\/span><\/p>\n

Con b\u00e9 hay tr\u1ed1n trong ph\u00f2ng n\u00f3i chuy\u1ec7n \u0111i\u1ec7n tho\u1ea1i v\u1edbi b\u1ea1n h\u00e0ng ti\u1ebfng \u0111\u1ed3ng h\u1ed3; d\u00f9ng to\u00e0n l\u00e0 nh\u1eefng ti\u1ebfng l\u00f3ng m\u00e0 ch\u1ecb kh\u00f4ng hi\u1ec3u g\u00ec c\u1ea3. \u201cCh\u1ecb kh\u00f4ng mu\u1ed1n l\u00e0m b\u00e0 ngo\u1ea1i s\u1edbm, em hi\u1ec3u kh\u00f4ng?\u201d Ch\u1ecb t\u00f4i bu\u00f4ng c\u00e2u k\u1ebft lu\u1eadn \u0111\u1ea7y c\u0103ng th\u1eb3ng v\u1ec1 vi\u1ec7c d\u1ea1y con tu\u1ed5i d\u1eady th\u00ec<\/em>. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nguy\u00ean nh\u00e2n xung \u0111\u1ed9t gi\u1eefa cha m\u1eb9 v\u00e0 con c\u00e1i<\/strong> <\/span><\/h3>\n

Xung \u0111\u1ed9t v\u00e0 m\u00e2u thu\u1eabn gi\u1eefa cha m\u1eb9 v\u00e0 con c\u00e1i, c\u00f9ng vi\u1ec7c d\u1ea1y con tu\u1ed5i d\u1eady th\u00ec<\/span> l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 mu\u00f4n thu\u1edf v\u00e0 d\u1ec5 g\u00e2y tranh c\u00e3i. Cho d\u00f9 ch\u00fang ta c\u1ed1 t\u00ecnh ph\u00f3ng \u0111\u1ea1i ho\u1eb7c coi nh\u1eb9 \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y, ch\u00fang v\u1eabn di\u1ec5n ra h\u1eb1ng ng\u00e0y. Ngo\u00e0i s\u1ef1 t\u1ed5n th\u01b0\u01a1ng v\u1ec1 m\u1eb7t t\u00ecnh c\u1ea3m, c\u00e1c b\u1eadc ph\u1ee5 huynh c\u00f2n c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y s\u1ee5p \u0111\u1ed5. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nguy\u00ean nh\u00e2n l\u00e0 v\u00ec nh\u1eefng g\u00ec m\u00ecnh ngh\u0129 v\u1ec1 con tr\u01b0\u1edbc gi\u1edd h\u00f3a ra sai h\u1ebft. H\u1ecd s\u1ee3 r\u1eb1ng quy\u1ec1n l\u00e0m cha l\u00e0m m\u1eb9 c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh v\u1ed1n tr\u01b0\u1edbc gi\u1edd l\u00e0 b\u1ea5t kh\u1ea3 x\u00e2m ph\u1ea1m, nay \u0111\u00e3 b\u1ecb c\u00f4ng khai th\u00e1ch th\u1ee9c. H\u1ecd \u0111\u1ed5 h\u1ebft t\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 l\u00ean \u0111i\u1ec1u ki\u1ec7n m\u00f4i tr\u01b0\u1eddng b\u00ean ngo\u00e0i ho\u1eb7c b\u1ea1n b\u00e8 x\u1ea5u t\u00e1c \u0111\u1ed9ng. Nh\u01b0ng r\u1ea5t \u00edt ph\u1ee5 huynh nh\u1eadn th\u1ee9c \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c ch\u00ednh b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n m\u00ecnh m\u1edbi l\u00e0 nguy\u00ean nh\u00e2n ch\u00ednh c\u1ee7a s\u1ef1 \u01b0\u01a1ng b\u01b0\u1edbng b\u1ea5t ng\u1edd \u0111\u00f3. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nh\u00e0 t\u00e2m l\u00fd h\u1ecdc tr\u1ebb em n\u1ed5i ti\u1ebfng ng\u01b0\u1eddi Th\u1ee5y S\u0129 Jean Piaget \u0111\u00e3 \u0111\u01b0a ra ba nguy\u00ean nh\u00e2n ch\u00ednh g\u00e2y ra nh\u1eefng xung \u0111\u1ed9t gi\u1eefa cha m\u1eb9 v\u00e0 con c\u00e1i: Cha m\u1eb9 d\u00e0nh qu\u00e1 \u00edt th\u1eddi gian b\u00ean con; V\u00ec kh\u00f4ng hi\u1ec3u con n\u00ean c\u00e1c b\u1eadc cha m\u1eb9 c\u00f3 nh\u1eefng c\u00e1ch d\u1ea1y con sai l\u1ea7m; Cha m\u1eb9 \u0111\u1eb7t ra nh\u1eefng k\u1ef3 v\u1ecdng kh\u00f4ng th\u00edch h\u1ee3p cho con m\u00ecnh. <\/span><\/p>\n

Nh\u00e2n t\u1ed1 t\u00e1c \u0111\u1ed9ng b\u00ean ngo\u00e0i theo Piaget l\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u00e1ng k\u1ec3, n\u1ebfu cha m\u1eb9 v\u00e0 con c\u00e1i x\u00e2y d\u1ef1ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c m\u1ed9t m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 t\u1ed1t \u0111\u1eb9p. Hay n\u00f3i c\u00e1ch kh\u00e1c, ch\u00ednh cha m\u1eb9 ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 ng\u01b0\u1eddi ch\u1ecbu tr\u00e1ch nhi\u1ec7m ch\u00ednh trong vi\u1ec7c con c\u00e1i tr\u1edf n\u00ean h\u01b0 h\u1ecfng ho\u1eb7c ch\u1ed1ng \u0111\u1ed1i l\u1ea1i m\u00ecnh, ch\u1ee9 kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i do m\u00f4i tr\u01b0\u1eddng b\u00ean ngo\u00e0i.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u0110\u1ecdc th\u00eam: L\u00e0m m\u1eb9 c\u00f3 ph\u1ea3i thi\u00ean ch\u1ee9c cao qu\u00fd nh\u1ea5t c\u1ee7a ph\u1ee5 n\u1eef hi\u1ec7n \u0111\u1ea1i<\/span><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

B\u1ed1n ki\u1ec3u cha m\u1eb9 ti\u00eau bi\u1ec3u<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

C\u00e1c nh\u00e0 t\u00e2m l\u00fd h\u1ecdc chia c\u00e1ch d\u1ea1y con c\u1ee7a c\u00e1c \u00f4ng b\u1ed1 b\u00e0 m\u1eb9 th\u00e0nh b\u1ed1n nh\u00f3m ch\u00ednh nh\u01b0 sau:<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \n

    1. Authoritarian parents (Nh\u00f3m cha m\u1eb9 \u0111\u1ed9c t\u00e0i).<\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

    \u0110\u00e2y l\u00e0 nh\u00f3m nh\u1eefng \u00f4ng b\u1ed1, b\u00e0 m\u1eb9 r\u00e8n con b\u1eb1ng k\u1ef7 lu\u1eadt s\u1eaft. H\u1ecd lu\u00f4n b\u1eaft con m\u00ecnh ph\u1ea3i ph\u1ee5c t\u00f9ng m\u1ec7nh l\u1ec7nh; ho\u00e0n th\u00e0nh m\u1ee5c ti\u00eau do h\u1ecd \u0111\u1ec1 ra nh\u01b0ng kh\u00f4ng bao gi\u1edd l\u1eafng nghe con c\u00e1i. M\u1ecdi ph\u1ea3n \u1ee9ng d\u00f9 l\u1edbn hay nh\u1ecf c\u1ee7a con c\u00e1i \u0111\u1ec1u \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c xem l\u00e0 s\u1ef1 th\u00e1ch th\u1ee9c \u0111\u1ed1i v\u1edbi quy\u1ec1n l\u00e0m cha l\u00e0m m\u1eb9, v\u00e0 c\u1ea7n ph\u1ea3i b\u1ecb tr\u1eebng tr\u1ecb th\u00edch \u0111\u00e1ng. <\/span><\/li>\n

  2. \n

    2. Permissive parents\u00a0(Nh\u00f3m cha m\u1eb9 nhu nh\u01b0\u1ee3c).\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/h3>\n

    Nh\u1eefng ph\u1ee5 huynh n\u00e0y qu\u00e1 d\u1ec5 d\u00e3i v\u1edbi con c\u00e1i c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh. H\u1ecd \u0111\u1eb7t ra nh\u1eefng quy \u0111\u1ecbnh nh\u01b0ng kh\u00f4ng quan t\u00e2m con c\u00e1i c\u00f3 tu\u00e2n theo ch\u00fang hay kh\u00f4ng. \u0110\u1ec3 tr\u00e1nh xung \u0111\u1ed9t v\u1edbi c\u00e1c con, h\u1ecd \u00edt khi la m\u1eafng ho\u1eb7c ph\u1ea1t con m\u00ecnh; nh\u01b0ng c\u0169ng \u00edt khi tr\u00f2 chuy\u1ec7n v\u1edbi ch\u00fang m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch nghi\u00eam t\u00fac. H\u1ecd ch\u1ec9 can thi\u1ec7p khi m\u1ecdi chuy\u1ec7n tr\u1edf n\u00ean qu\u00e1 t\u1ed3i t\u1ec7.<\/span><\/li>\n

  3. \n

    3. Uninvolved parents (Nh\u00f3m cha m\u1eb9 v\u00f4 tr\u00e1ch nhi\u1ec7m).\u00a0<\/i><\/span><\/h3>\n

    Nh\u1eefng ph\u1ee5 huynh n\u00e0y xem vi\u1ec7c gi\u00e1o d\u1ee5c con c\u00e1i h\u1ecd l\u00e0 tr\u00e1ch nhi\u1ec7m c\u1ee7a nh\u00e0 tr\u01b0\u1eddng v\u00e0 x\u00e3 h\u1ed9i. B\u1ed5n ph\u1eadn duy nh\u1ea5t c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd l\u00e0 \u0111i l\u00e0m ki\u1ebfm ti\u1ec1n lo v\u1eadt ch\u1ea5t cho con; c\u00f2n l\u1ea1i h\u1ecd s\u1ed1ng cho b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n trong m\u1ed9t th\u1ebf gi\u1edbi ri\u00eang v\u00e0 \u0111\u1ec3 con c\u00e1i \u201ct\u1ef1 sinh t\u1ef1 di\u1ec7t\u201d.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      \n
    1. \n

      4. Authoritative parents (Nh\u00f3m cha m\u1eb9 d\u00e2n ch\u1ee7).<\/i>\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

      \u0110\u00e2y l\u00e0 nh\u1eefng b\u1eadc cha m\u1eb9 th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 th\u01b0\u01a1ng y\u00eau con. H\u1ecd quan t\u00e2m t\u1edbi s\u1ef1 ph\u00e1t tri\u1ec3n c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang qua t\u1eebng giai \u0111o\u1ea1n. H\u1ecd lu\u00f4n d\u00e0nh th\u1eddi gian c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh \u0111\u1ec3 tr\u00f2 chuy\u1ec7n v\u00e0 l\u1eafng nghe con c\u00e1i. Nh\u00f3m cha m\u1eb9 n\u00e0y nghi\u00eam kh\u1eafc nh\u01b0ng c\u00f4ng b\u1eb1ng. T\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 nh\u1eefng s\u1ef1 tr\u00e1ch ph\u1ea1t ho\u1eb7c khen th\u01b0\u1edfng \u0111\u1ec1u k\u00e8m theo l\u00fd do ch\u00ednh \u0111\u00e1ng; v\u00e0 c\u00e1ch gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft h\u1ee3p l\u00fd. H\u1ecd c\u0169ng kh\u00f4ng bao gi\u1edd so s\u00e1nh con m\u00ecnh v\u1edbi ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c; ho\u1eb7c \u0111\u1eb7t ra nh\u1eefng m\u1ee5c ti\u00eau qu\u00e1 kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng con m\u00ecnh.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      \u0110\u1ecdc th\u00eam: Ph\u01b0\u01a1ng ph\u00e1p gi\u00e1o d\u1ee5c “10 kh\u00f4ng” c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi m\u1eb9 c\u00f3 3 con h\u1ecdc Stanford<\/span><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

      \u1ede Vi\u1ec7t Nam, nh\u00f3m cha m\u1eb9 \u0111\u1ed9c t\u00e0i v\u1eabn c\u00f2n chi\u1ebfm \u0111a s\u1ed1<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

      L\u00ed do v\u00ec s\u1ef1 \u1ea3nh h\u01b0\u1edfng qu\u00e1 n\u1eb7ng n\u1ec1 c\u1ee7a l\u1ec5 gi\u00e1o phong ki\u1ebfn bu\u1ed9c con c\u00e1i ph\u1ee5c t\u00f9ng. \u1ede m\u1ed9t th\u00e1i c\u1ef1c kh\u00e1c, nhi\u1ec1u b\u1eadc cha m\u1eb9 l\u1ea7m t\u01b0\u1edfng r\u1eb1ng c\u1ee9 \u0111\u1ec3 cho con s\u1ed1ng t\u1ef1 do kh\u00f4ng qu\u1ea3n th\u00fac m\u1edbi l\u00e0 l\u1ed1i gi\u00e1o d\u1ee5c d\u00e2n ch\u1ee7 v\u00e0 ti\u00ean ti\u1ebfn. Ch\u00ednh h\u1ecd c\u0169ng kh\u00f4ng hi\u1ec3u r\u1eb1ng m\u00ecnh \u0111ang n\u1eb1m trong s\u1ed1 nh\u00f3m cha m\u1eb9 nhu nh\u01b0\u1ee3c; ho\u1eb7c th\u1eadm ch\u00ed l\u00e0 v\u00f4 tr\u00e1ch nhi\u1ec7m. <\/span><\/p>\n

      \u0110\u1ec3 tr\u1edf th\u00e0nh nh\u1eefng ph\u1ee5 huynh d\u00e2n ch\u1ee7, \u0111i\u1ec1u quan tr\u1ecdng nh\u1ea5t l\u00e0 cha m\u1eb9 ph\u1ea3i gi\u00e0nh nhi\u1ec1u th\u1eddi gian; \u0111\u1ec3 tr\u00f2 chuy\u1ec7n v\u00e0 k\u1ebft n\u1ed1i v\u1edbi c\u1ea3m x\u00fac c\u1ee7a con m\u00ecnh. Nh\u1eefng b\u1eadc ph\u1ee5 huynh M\u1ef9 \u1edf c\u00e1c gia \u0111\u00ecnh trung l\u01b0u tr\u00ed th\u1ee9c c\u00f3 c\u00e1ch d\u1ea1y con r\u1ea5t \u0111\u00e1ng ng\u01b0\u1ee1ng m\u1ed9. <\/span>H\u1ecd lu\u00f4n gi\u1eef b\u00ecnh t\u0129nh ngay c\u1ea3 khi con c\u00e1i l\u1edbn ti\u1ebfng c\u00e3i tay \u0111\u00f4i; ho\u1eb7c b\u1ecf v\u00e0o ph\u00f2ng \u0111\u00f3ng s\u1ea7m c\u1eeda l\u1ea1i. Nh\u1eefng cu\u1ed9c c\u00e3i c\u1ecd c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd v\u00e0 con c\u00e1i c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 n\u1ea3y l\u1eeda. Nh\u01b0ng th\u01b0\u1eddng k\u1ebft th\u00fac b\u1eb1ng nh\u1eefng c\u00e1i \u00f4m si\u1ebft th\u1eadt ch\u1eb7t; k\u00e8m theo l\u1eddi xin l\u1ed7i v\u00e0 c\u00e2u: \u201cI love you!\u201d ch\u00e2n th\u00e0nh. H\u1ecd kh\u00f4ng gi\u00e1m s\u00e1t ch\u1eb7t ch\u1ebd nh\u01b0ng lu\u00f4n c\u00f9ng \u1edf b\u00ean con khi ch\u00fang v\u1ea5p ng\u00e3; v\u00e0 c\u00f9ng con gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 v\u00e0 r\u00fat kinh nghi\u1ec7m.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

      \"day-con-tuoi-day-thi-hinh-2\"<\/p>\n

      \"day-con-tuoi-day-thi-hinh-3\"<\/p>\n

      B\u00e0i: Ch\u00ed Vi\u1ec5n<\/em><\/p>\n

      T\u1ea1p ch\u00ed Harper’s Bazaar Vi\u1ec7t Nam s\u1ed1 th\u00e1ng 11\/2017<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      Khi \u0111\u1ee9a con ngoan hi\u1ec1n \u0111\u1ebfn tu\u1ed5i d\u1eady th\u00ec b\u1ed7ng tr\u1edf n\u00ean \u01b0\u01a1ng ng\u1ea1nh, h\u1ed7n h\u00e0o \u0111\u1ed1i \u0111\u1ea7u v\u1edbi m\u00ecnh, ph\u1ea7n l\u1edbn b\u1eadc l\u00e0m cha m\u1eb9 th\u01b0\u1eddng kh\u00f3 ch\u1ea5p nh\u1eadn c\u00fa s\u1ed1c n\u00e0y. \u0110\u00e2u l\u00e0 nguy\u00ean nh\u00e2n?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":46,"featured_media":2430554,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[601],"tags":[1235,53068],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nTalking Points G\u00f3c nh\u00ecn: D\u1ea1y con tu\u1ed5i d\u1eady th\u00ec, d\u1ec5 hay kh\u00f3?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Khi \u0111\u1ee9a con ngoan hi\u1ec1n \u0111\u1ebfn tu\u1ed5i d\u1eady th\u00ec b\u1ed7ng tr\u1edf n\u00ean \u01b0\u01a1ng ng\u1ea1nh, ph\u1ea7n l\u1edbn b\u1eadc l\u00e0m cha m\u1eb9 th\u01b0\u1eddng kh\u00f3 ch\u1ea5p nh\u1eadn c\u00fa s\u1ed1c n\u00e0y. 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