{"id":2421878,"date":"2017-06-11T07:30:07","date_gmt":"2017-06-11T00:30:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kill2.mmmaq.com/_res_0\/?p=2421878"},"modified":"2021-04-06T21:46:09","modified_gmt":"2021-04-06T14:46:09","slug":"4-sai-lam-ran-vo-quan-gia-dinh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kill2.mmmaq.com/_res_0\/4-sai-lam-ran-vo-quan-gia-dinh\/","title":{"rendered":"4 sai l\u1ea7m ch\u00ed m\u1ea1ng c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0m r\u1ea1n v\u1ee1 quan h\u1ec7 gia \u0111\u00ecnh b\u1ea1n"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ch\u1ec9 c\u1ea7n 15 ph\u00fat t\u1ea1i \u201cph\u00f2ng th\u00ed nghi\u1ec7m t\u00ecnh y\u00eau\u201d \u1edf Seattle, hai v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng nh\u00e0 nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u John v\u00e0 Julie Gottman \u0111\u00e3 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 \u0111\u01b0a ra k\u1ebft lu\u1eadn v\u1ec1 quan h\u1ec7 gia \u0111\u00ecnh<\/strong> b\u1ea1n. Hai b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd s\u1edbm chia tay hay s\u1ebd c\u00f9ng nhau s\u1ed1ng \u0111\u1ebfn tr\u1ecdn cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi? K\u1ebft lu\u1eadn \u1ea5y \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111\u01b0a ra ch\u1ec9 b\u1eb1ng vi\u1ec7c l\u1eafng nghe cu\u1ed9c tr\u00f2 chuy\u1ec7n gi\u1eefa \u0111\u00f4i b\u00ean.<\/p>\n

\u0110i\u1ec1u k\u1ef3 di\u1ec7u l\u00e0 tuy ch\u1ec9 v\u1edbi 15 ph\u00fat, t\u1ef7 l\u1ec7 \u0111\u00fang c\u1ee7a d\u1ef1 \u0111o\u00e1n l\u1ea1i l\u00ean \u0111\u1ebfn 91%. \u0110i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y khi\u1ebfn ch\u00fang ta th\u1eafc m\u1eafc: V\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng Gottmans \u0111\u00e3 nh\u00ecn th\u1ea5y nh\u1eefng d\u1ea5u hi\u1ec7u ti\u00eau c\u1ef1c n\u00e0o trong m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 gia \u0111\u00ecnh <\/u>m\u00e0 ngay c\u1ea3 b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n ta c\u0169ng kh\u00f4ng nh\u00ecn th\u1ea5y \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c?<\/p>\n

Kh\u00f4ng qu\u00e1 xa v\u1eddi hay ph\u1ee9c t\u1ea1p, nh\u1eefng d\u1ea5u hi\u1ec7u \u1ea5y ch\u1ec9 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c g\u00f3i g\u1ecdn trong 4 sai l\u1ea7m l\u1edbn d\u01b0\u1edbi \u0111\u00e2y.<\/p>\n

Xem th\u00eam: \u0110\u00e0n b\u00e0 h\u01a1n nhau \u1edf t\u1ea5m ch\u1ed3ng?<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

Ch\u1ec9 tr\u00edch l\u1eabn nhau<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u0110\u00f4i khi trong cu\u1ed9c n\u00f3i chuy\u1ec7n, b\u1ea1n ch\u1ec9 ch\u0103m ch\u0103m t\u1ea5n c\u00f4ng \u0111\u1ed1i ph\u01b0\u01a1ng m\u00e0 qu\u00ean \u0111i v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 quan tr\u1ecdng \u0111ang \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c b\u00e0n lu\u1eadn. Khi ph\u00ea b\u00ecnh ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u1ed1i di\u1ec7n, b\u1ea1n th\u01b0\u1eddng ngh\u0129 con ng\u01b0\u1eddi hay t\u00ednh c\u00e1ch c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd \u201cc\u00f3 g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 sai sai\u201d.<\/p>\n

Ch\u00ednh \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y s\u1ebd g\u00e2y ra \u1ea3nh h\u01b0\u1edfng l\u1edbn. Khi c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y b\u1ecb c\u00f4ng k\u00edch c\u00e1 nh\u00e2n, b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n nhi\u1ec1u kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng s\u1ebd c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y kh\u00f3 ch\u1ecbu v\u00e0 tr\u1edf n\u00ean ph\u00f2ng th\u1ee7. \u0110\u00f3 l\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec1u hi\u1ec3n nhi\u00ean. Ki\u1ec3u h\u00e0nh x\u1eed t\u1ea5n c\u00f4ng – ph\u00f2ng v\u1ec7 n\u00e0y khi\u1ebfn c\u1ea3 hai d\u1ea7n \u0111i xa kh\u1ecfi vi\u1ec7c l\u1eafng nghe l\u1eabn nhau.<\/p>\n

B\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 ph\u00e0n n\u00e0n ch\u1ed3ng hay v\u1ee3 c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh. \u0110\u00f3 l\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec1u kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 tr\u00e1nh kh\u1ecfi. Nh\u01b0ng tuy\u1ec7t \u0111\u1ed1i tr\u00e1nh ch\u1ec9 tr\u00edch l\u1eabn nhau. \u0110\u00f3 l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t trong nh\u1eefng c\u00e1ch t\u1ed1t nh\u1ea5t gi\u00fap quan h\u1ec7 gia \u0111\u00ecnh <\/em>kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u1ebfn chi\u1ec1u tan v\u1ee1.<\/p>\n

Coi th\u01b0\u1eddng l\u1eabn nhau <\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u0110i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y x\u1ea3y ra khi b\u1ea1n t\u1ef1 \u0111\u1eb7t m\u00ecnh \u1edf v\u1ecb th\u1ebf cao h\u01a1n trong m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7. \u0110i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y khi\u1ebfn \u0111\u1ed1i ph\u01b0\u01a1ng tr\u1edf n\u00ean k\u00e9m quan tr\u1ecdng h\u01a1n trong m\u1eaft b\u1ea1n. Ch\u00ednh s\u1ef1 ch\u1ebf gi\u1ec5u th\u1eb3ng th\u1eebng d\u1ef1 \u0111\u1ecbnh hay nh\u1eadn th\u1ee9c c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 s\u1ebd g\u00e2y ra nh\u1eefng t\u1ed5n th\u01b0\u01a1ng v\u1ec1 m\u1eb7t tinh th\u1ea7n ho\u1eb7c sang ch\u1ea5n t\u00e2m l\u00fd cho \u0111\u1ed1i ph\u01b0\u01a1ng.<\/p>\n

D\u00f9 b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 kh\u00f4ng nh\u1eadn ra, nh\u01b0ng s\u1ef1 coi th\u01b0\u1eddng \u1ea5y c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 n\u1eb1m d\u01b0\u1edbi r\u1ea5t nhi\u1ec1u h\u00ecnh th\u1ee9c. T\u1eeb c\u00e1i t\u00ean b\u1ea1n g\u1ecdi, c\u00e1ch b\u1ea1n n\u00f3i chuy\u1ec7n, hay nh\u1eefng c\u1eed ch\u1ec9 nh\u1ea1o b\u00e1ng\u2026 m\u1ecdi th\u1ee9 \u0111\u1ec1u c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 ti\u1ec1m \u1ea9n \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3. C\u00f3 th\u1ec3 kh\u00f4ng ng\u1edd t\u1edbi, nh\u01b0ng n\u00f3 c\u00f3 t\u1ed3n t\u1ea1i v\u00e0 b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n \u0111\u00e3 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 nh\u1eadn ra.<\/p>\n

N\u1ebfu c\u1ee9 l\u1eb7p \u0111i l\u1eb7p l\u1ea1i, \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y s\u1ebd \u0103n s\u00e2u v\u00e0o ti\u1ec1m th\u1ee9c c\u1ee7a c\u00e1c c\u1eb7p \u0111\u00f4i. N\u00f3 tr\u1edf th\u00e0nh y\u1ebfu t\u1ed1 t\u00e0n ph\u00e1 nguy hi\u1ec3m nh\u1ea5t trong c\u1ea3 4 y\u1ebfu t\u1ed1 tr\u00ean.<\/p>\n

C\u00e1ch hay nh\u1ea5t \u0111\u1ec3 h\u1ea1n ch\u1ebf v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 n\u00e0y ch\u00ednh l\u00e0 h\u00e3y vi\u1ec7c d\u1eb9p b\u1ecf nh\u1eefng t\u1eeb ng\u1eef hay h\u00e0nh \u0111\u1ed9ng mang t\u00ednh mi\u1ec7t th\u1ecb. Thay v\u00e0o \u0111\u00f3, h\u00e3y c\u1ed1 g\u1eafng t\u00e1ch b\u1ea1ch h\u00e0nh vi ra kh\u1ecfi con ng\u01b0\u1eddi h\u1ecd.<\/p>\n

Xem th\u00eam: Y\u00eau bao nhi\u00eau l\u00e0 \u0111\u1ee7?<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

\"20171106-quan-he-gia-dinh-1\"

Nh\u1eefng sai l\u1ea7m, d\u00f9 nh\u1ecf, c\u0169ng c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 khi\u1ebfn m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 gia \u0111\u00ecnh b\u1ea1n tan v\u1ee1.<\/p><\/div>\n

T\u00e2m l\u00fd ph\u00f2ng th\u1ee7<\/strong><\/h2>\n

T\u00e2m l\u00fd ph\u00f2ng th\u1ee7 xu\u1ea5t hi\u1ec7n khi b\u1ea1n c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y b\u1ecb t\u1ea5n c\u00f4ng v\u00e0 quy\u1ebft \u0111\u1ecbnh ph\u1ea3n ph\u00e1o. B\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0m \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 b\u1eb1ng c\u00e1ch \u0111\u00f3ng vai ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1ecb h\u1ea1i; r\u00ean r\u1ec9 nh\u01b0 m\u1ed9t \u0111\u1ee9a tr\u1ebb hay th\u1eadm ch\u00ed \u0111\u1ed1p ch\u00e1t l\u1ea1i l\u1eddi n\u00f3i \u0111\u1ed1i ph\u01b0\u01a1ng.<\/p>\n

T\u00e2m l\u00fd ph\u00f2ng th\u1ee7 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 x\u1ea3y \u0111\u1ebfn ngay c\u1ea3 khi b\u1ea1n bi\u1ebft l\u00e0 m\u00ecnh \u0111\u00e3 sai. Khi b\u1ea1n kh\u00f4ng ch\u1ecbu l\u00e3nh tr\u00e1ch nhi\u1ec7m v\u1edbi ch\u00ednh h\u00e0nh \u0111\u1ed9ng c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh, ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y h\u1ecd kh\u00f4ng th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c l\u1eafng nghe, hay cho r\u1eb1ng b\u1ea1n kh\u00f4ng quan t\u00e2m \u0111\u1ebfn h\u1ecd.<\/p>\n

B\u1ea1n kh\u00f4ng c\u00f2n l\u00e0 tr\u1ebb con n\u1eefa. H\u00e3y h\u1ecdc c\u00e1ch tr\u01b0\u1edfng th\u00e0nh \u0111\u1ec3 \u0111\u1ed1i m\u1eb7t v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1. L\u1eafng nghe l\u1eddi than phi\u1ec1n t\u1eeb \u0111\u1ed1i ph\u01b0\u01a1ng, v\u00e0 t\u1eadp c\u00f3 tr\u00e1ch nhi\u1ec7m v\u1edbi b\u1ea5t c\u1ee9 v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 g\u00ec. B\u1ea1n s\u1ebd th\u1ea5y, quan h\u1ec7 gia \u0111\u00ecnh b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c c\u1ea3i thi\u1ec7n h\u01a1n r\u00f5 r\u1ec7t.<\/p>\n

Xem th\u00eam: \u0110i\u1ec1u k\u1ef3 l\u1ea1 c\u1ee7a t\u00ecnh y\u00eau.<\/span><\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

T\u00ecnh tr\u1ea1ng b\u1ebf t\u1eafc<\/strong><\/h2>\n

T\u00ecnh tr\u1ea1ng b\u1ebf t\u1eafc x\u1ea3y ra khi b\u1ea1n mu\u1ed1n r\u00fat ch\u00e2n kh\u1ecfi m\u00e2u thu\u1eabn b\u1eb1ng c\u00e1ch b\u00e0i b\u00e1c, t\u1ea1o kho\u1ea3ng c\u00e1ch hay th\u1eadm ch\u00ed l\u00e0 t\u1ecf v\u1ebb xa c\u00e1ch.<\/p>\n

Theo \u00f4ng Gottman, \u0111\u1ebfn 80% ng\u01b0\u1eddi g\u1eb7p t\u00ecnh tr\u1ea1ng b\u1ebf t\u1eafc n\u00e0y l\u00e0 \u0111\u00e0n \u00f4ng. Th\u00f4ng th\u01b0\u1eddng, t\u00ecnh tr\u1ea1ng b\u1ebf t\u1eafc kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 d\u1ea5u hi\u1ec7u cho th\u1ea5y ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi kh\u00f4ng quan t\u00e2m \u0111\u1ebfn m\u00e2u thu\u1eabn. M\u00e0 \u0111\u00f3 ch\u00ednh l\u00e0 khi \u00a0h\u1ecd b\u1ecb b\u1ee7a v\u00e2y, cho\u00e1ng ng\u1ee3p, mu\u1ed1n ki\u1ebfm t\u00ecm c\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c tr\u1ea5n an tr\u1edf l\u1ea1i.<\/p>\n

T\u00ecnh tr\u1ea1ng n\u00e0y th\u01b0\u1eddng t\u1ea1o ra m\u1ed9t v\u00f2ng tr\u00f2n lu\u1ea9n qu\u1ea9n. N\u00f3 khi\u1ebfn cho m\u1ed9t b\u00ean b\u00f9ng n\u1ed5 m\u00e2u thu\u1eabn v\u1edbi mong mu\u1ed1n \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c l\u1eafng nghe. \u0110i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y khi\u1ebfn ng\u01b0\u1eddi kia t\u1ef1 t\u1ea1o ra r\u00e0o c\u1ea3n t\u00e2m l\u00fd, hay \u0111\u01a1n gi\u1ea3n l\u00e0 b\u1ecf \u0111i ch\u1ed7 kh\u00e1c.<\/p>\n

C\u00e1ch t\u1ed1t nh\u1ea5t \u0111\u1ec3 gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft v\u1edbi t\u00ecnh tr\u1ea1ng n\u00e0y l\u00e0 nh\u1eadn bi\u1ebft \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c khi n\u00e0o \u0111\u1ed1i ph\u01b0\u01a1ng c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y b\u1ee9c b\u1ed1i. \u0110\u00f3 l\u00e0 l\u00fac c\u1ea3 hai c\u1ea7n d\u00e0nh th\u1eddi gian suy ngh\u0129 l\u1ea1i. B\u1ea1n c\u0169ng c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 chuy\u1ec3n h\u01b0\u1edbng t\u00ecnh tr\u1ea1ng sang t\u00edch c\u1ef1c b\u1eb1ng c\u00e1ch b\u1ecf qua nh\u1eefng t\u00ecnh th\u1ebf kh\u00f3 x\u1eed. B\u00ean c\u1ea1nh \u0111\u00f3, h\u00e3y th\u1ec3 hi\u1ec7n t\u00ecnh c\u1ea3m c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh.<\/p>\n

V\u00ec, c\u00f3 \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00ec c\u00f2n quan tr\u1ecdng h\u01a1n gia \u0111\u00ecnh b\u1ea1n n\u1eefa?<\/p>\n

Harper\u2019s Bazaar Vi\u1ec7t Nam<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

D\u00f9 \u1edf c\u01b0\u01a1ng v\u1ecb n\u00e0o, l\u00e0m c\u00f4ng vi\u1ec7c g\u00ec, quan h\u1ec7 gia \u0111\u00ecnh v\u1eabn l\u00e0 y\u1ebfu t\u1ed1 quan tr\u1ecdng nh\u1ea5t t\u1ea1o n\u00ean h\u1ea1nh ph\u00fac. Th\u1ebf nh\u01b0ng, \u00edt ai bi\u1ebft r\u1eb1ng s\u1ef1 g\u1eafn k\u1ebft \u0111\u00f3 l\u1ea1i r\u1ea5t d\u1ec5 tan v\u1ee1, ch\u1ec9 v\u1edbi 4 sai l\u1ea7m ch\u00ed m\u1ea1ng. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":164,"featured_media":2421879,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[601],"tags":[1235],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n4 sai l\u1ea7m ch\u00ed m\u1ea1ng c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0m r\u1ea1n v\u1ee1 quan h\u1ec7 gia \u0111\u00ecnh b\u1ea1n<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Quan h\u1ec7 gia \u0111\u00ecnh l\u00e0 y\u1ebfu t\u1ed1 quan tr\u1ecdng nh\u1ea5t t\u1ea1o n\u00ean h\u1ea1nh ph\u00fac. Th\u1ebf nh\u01b0ng, \u00edt ai bi\u1ebft r\u1eb1ng s\u1ef1 g\u1eafn k\u1ebft \u0111\u00f3 l\u1ea1i r\u1ea5t d\u1ec5 tan v\u1ee1, ch\u1ec9 v\u1edbi 4 sai l\u1ea7m ch\u00ed m\u1ea1ng.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/kill2.mmmaq.com\/4-sai-lam-ran-vo-quan-gia-dinh\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"4 sai l\u1ea7m ch\u00ed m\u1ea1ng c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0m r\u1ea1n v\u1ee1 quan h\u1ec7 gia \u0111\u00ecnh b\u1ea1n\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Quan h\u1ec7 gia \u0111\u00ecnh l\u00e0 y\u1ebfu t\u1ed1 quan tr\u1ecdng nh\u1ea5t t\u1ea1o n\u00ean h\u1ea1nh ph\u00fac. 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